I Can't Stop Thinking About You at 2 AM

What's the point of sleeping if all I'm going to do is think about you? I lay in my bed and think about all of the things that could have been, but weren't. The memories of us replay over and over in my head, pushing out thoughts of anything else. When I try to get away from you because I know it's best for me, you keep showing up everywhere. My friends still love you, and my parents keep asking about you. I can't go on social media for one day without seeing something about you, and it's like there is no escape. Everyone tells me that "It's OK to get back together once in a while," but I can't handle the constant hello's and goodbyes. When I crawl back to you thinking that I'm strong enough not to become attached again, it's even more difficult to step back, and it tears my heart apart.

It's 2 AM, and I remember the first time we met. I thought I had it all; I was happy. I was in great shape, had plenty of time to do everything, and you were an undiscovered treasure. Some might even say it was love at first sight, and I'm not denying it. I remember when you were right in front of me, and I was just looking at you in awe. I will never forget the first time my lips touched you. That kiss showed me that dreams do come true, and I was missing out on so much in my life. This kiss was warm, comforting, and... cheesy?

It's 2 AM and I lay in bed with a growling stomach and a heavy heart. Oh, pizza, I miss you so much. Walking past the pizza station every day at school or the pizzeria when I'm out on a run (I don't actually run like I say I do, but this sounds dramatic) reminds me of all the good times we had. Remember when I was all alone on Valentine's Day, and you found a way into my life? Or the time when I came home after a bad day and you were waiting for me in the fridge, ready to make me smile? We had so many good times together, and I thought that everything was going perfectly. I guess I was wrong.

A year ago; our prime time together, I started noticing changes in myself. The more time I spent with you, the more I changed. I was starting to get slower when I ran (running is rough, in general, so I don't completely blame you), my clothes started getting a little tighter, and I found myself in a bad mood, more often than not. While I was with you, I felt good. But right after, not so good. I talked to someone about you and they recommended to cut you out of my life. Not even just you, but cookies too. This was the hardest breakup of my life. I remember when I went hiking one day with a friend, and she made me eat kale. Kaaaaale. I was trying to get some distance from you, but after tasting that, I spiraled downhill so quickly and found myself back in your comfort. I felt so guilty, but I was weak.

It took a lot of support from loved ones along with several weeks of physical and mental conditioning and now, pizza, I'm 15 pounds lighter and more energetic than ever. I learned how to take care of myself, and now I feel happy and free. I am strong and I can love you in moderation, without the guilt. I think this friendship will work. I love you, pizza. See you at dinner tonight?