What Is the "b": 4 Possible Reasons IHOP Is Rebranding

For sixty or so years, starving and/or drunken patrons without a whole lot of money have frequented IHOP's across this great and prosperous nation. Their assertion to be the International House of Pancakes has been indeed their claim to fame, although, quite ironically, this title is only is recognized in the good old United States of America. But now, the end of an era is upon us all. For whatever reason, possibly a variety of them, just not their sales, as those are up a whopping fifty percent, IHOP is getting its name flipped upside down, turning the pleasant to say IHOP to the strange to say IHOb. What? Right?

So really, what does this confounding "b" stand for anyway? According to what someone claiming to be an executive with the company has released on Reddit, that the "b" will stand for the one, the only and the true American classic, burgers! Yes, the definitive American pastime meal and everyone's favorite sandwich. Others, refusing to acknowledge the Reddit post or perhaps unable or unwilling to let go of the past, are hoping the "b" stands for breakfast, or maybe even bacon. I mean, who wouldn't love an International House of Bacon? That would literally be the greatest thing since sliced bread or racial justice. Heck, I might get married at an International House of Bacon! As long as they didn't sell IHOP bacon anyway, that stuff is as thin and pathetic as my ex-wife's new boyfriend.

While burgers, breakfast, and bacon are all valid possibilities, one would have to wonder, what is the point? IHOP is doing incredibly well right now, something the storied breakfast chain hasn't always done in their sixty-year existence. Despite the name change being a hot topic, many experts are warning that this might be one of the absolute worst timed rebranding's in the history of corporate America. If bacon or breakfast is the answer to the mystery, then really, who the heck cares? But if the "b" is to be short for burgers, what makes IHOP think they can suddenly compete with nearly every other chain in America, as burgers are as common in this nation as obesity. They will become just another Denny's; a subpar, dingy diner taking good dollars away from the privately owned diner in your town that is infinitely better. The only thing that made IHOP unique, it being a glorious tribute to the pancake, would be washed away, and left with some burgers that I'm sure we could get at Red Robin or that dang Ruby Tuesday.

However, according to one man, a Bong Studly from a George Soros funded video podcast entitled Would U Rather!?!, the "b" in IHOb stands for Bong's urine, as he used to regularly urinate in the buttermilk pancake batter at his local IHOP. He claims to have done this for over a year, and, even more horrifically, says that customers complained that the pancakes didn't taste the same after he quit his job. Whether this is true or not remains to be seen, but the man, and his co-host Shames Frown, did release this video and then, less than a month later, IHOP is changing its name. Coincidence? You decide.

Regardless of the cause for this move, I personally don't care, as IHOP is dead to me for as long as pigs in a blanket are not on the menu. I mean, seriously, that is a breakfast classic, pancakes rolled up with delicious sausages in the middle, who doesn't want to eat that? IHOP, IHOb, I could care less; I just want my International House of Pigs in a Blanket. My IHOPb.