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Elvis Presley may have been the King, but even a king wouldn't be fit to consume these meals. Elvis, brought up on southern cooking, ate a lot of weird things. It is no doubt his unhealthy diet led to his declining health, leading to an early death at the age of 42. The drugs helped, though.
The point is that Elvis had a pretty crazy diet of fried food that racked in the calories and carbs. When you look at the things he cooked, it becomes clear that, even if the drugs didn't ruin his internal organs, the insane things Elvis Presley ate were enough to kill anyone.
Elvis started off his day with a breakfast fit for the King of Rock and Roll. It was also the kind of breakfast that gave lesser men heart attacks.
Elvis liked his breakfasts to consist of deep-fried biscuits, sausage patties, fried bacon, and no less than four scrambled eggs. With extra butter.
Get a sense that Elvis Presley liked to eat all the butter?
Well, things are about to get even crazier. As an extra treat, sometimes he ate all that in sandwich form, with the biscuits sandwhiching the bacon, patties, and eggs between them in a butter-soaked, calorie laden monstrosity of a breakfast meal.
I need to step away for a second, because this is genuinely turning my stomach. I feel actually sick from this. I... need a moment.
The Elvis Presley Milkshake
I took a moment, read about this, and then wanted to hurl again.
Elvis Presley, not content to eat some of the most calorie laden, revolting foods in the world, decided to make a milkshake out of all the gross things he enjoyed to eat.
Take five strips of smoked bacon (and bacon fat), two bananas, three ice cream scoops, bourbon, and peanut butter. Dump it in a blender. Blend.
And then drink.
Thankfully, this monstrosity was prepared for larger parties of people, which meant that Elvis Presley thought so highly of this monstrous milkshake that he'd offer it to other people. Then again, I doubt people would deny the King's food, even if it one of the core ingredients was bacon fat.
I need something sane.
Like meat? Let's put some meat in your meat, and see how meaty it gets.
Process for this one is simple: get meatballs, make meatballs, get bacon, wrap meatballs in bacon, deep fry, eat. The King of Rock and Roll was a man of simple tastes. He stuck to this southern cooking recipe of his, often serving it at parties. He held it all together with a little toothpick, and people ate it.
I mean, granted, compared to some of the later things, this is almost a sane meal. A sane meal. But Elvis Presley ate a few of these every day for a snack between meals. He'd toss 'em back like potato chips.
Fool's Gold Loaf
Subs are among the most appealing of sandwiches. Elvis loved them. You should expect to see sandwiches filling up this list, but let's start with the oddest of all sandwiches: the Fool's Gold Loaf.
Fool's Gold Loaf is a peanut-butter and jelly sub sandwich. To make your own, simply dump a whole jaw of peanut butter and a whole jar of jelly into a hollowed-out loaf of bread... and then add a pound of bacon.
Yes. That is an 8,000 calorie PBJ sandwich.
Reportedly, Elvis once consumed a great number of these on a private plane while also downing a ton of champagne. With all that food in his belly, he probably had enough to keep him from getting drunk or hung-over, but if you're consuming multiple 8,000 calorie sandwiches, you have bigger health issues on the horizon than just a hang over.
Bologna is gross. Aside from being one of the oddest words in terms of spelling, the food is just not very good. It is an incredibly cheap meat that is processed into oblivion. Mortadella is what bologna should be, as mortadella is, essentially, less processed bologna. Both meats originated from Bologna, Italy, and I am telling you this to put off actually explaining how Elvis Presley ate his bologna.
He barbecued it.
Now, barbecuing meat isn't so odd. After all, many would argue it is one of the ideal ways of eating meat. Barbecue chicken, burgers, hot dogs – that's all well and good. What isn't all well and good is barbecuing bologna, then drowning it in BBQ Sauce.
For an hour and a half.
After destroying the meat in a casing of roasted cured and processed meat, he'd eat the whole thing. Now, it is important to note that this bologna was literally in a loaf. The King liked his loaves of meat, and he ate it all.
The Banana and Bacon Sandwich
In theory, sandwiches don't sound like the most unhealthy foods in the world. But the King of Rock and Roll ate only the richest of sandwiches. Take, for example, the Banana and Bacon Sandwich, a calorie monstrosity of insane proportions.
To prepare your own Banana and Bacon Sandwich (may God save your clogged arteries), take toasted bread, lay strips of bacon on either loaf, put it in a skillet loaded with a full stick of butter, and just chop in the bananas into it. Elvis Presley would devour this at every hour the day? Breakfast? He'd eat a Banana and Bacon Sandwich. Midday snack? Sandwich time. 2 AM? Crack out that skillet and butter – time for the King's Banana and Bacon Sandwich!
This was one of his favorites. It is hard to imagine this not causing a heart attack with one bite, but Elvis Presley had been known to not only eat one each day but many in one day. The very thought of it turns my stomach, but the King clearly loved himself his deep-fried sandwiches.
It is said that, in consuming all the aforementioned insane things that Elvis Presley ate on a regular basis, he may have eaten as much as 100,000 calories in the course of a day or two.
I think I'm gonna be sick. Why did I start writing this article? I'm questioning all my life choices up until this point.