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Hole in the Wall Heaven

Finding local eateries is the key to keeping your stomach happy and the big chains on their toes.

By Phil IncontroPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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I don't know what's in that bowl, but I want it.

Yes, everyone knows that local restaurants are better. That doesn't mean we drive past the big burger chain to get to Biggie Burger for the best eight ounce grilled meatloaf East of the Mississippi. Our local coffee shops, restaurants, burger joints, and delis go out of their way to go the extra mile past the big chains. They don't always hit the mark, but most of the time they try. That should be important to all of us. It's time to stop caving in to the the bright lights and flashy signs of characterless chains, and go on an adventure to find you local hole in the wall heaven. Hey look at that, I used the title again... must have been pretty good.

Why a local restaurant?

Just so we're clear, that was a real unpaid plug in the introduction. Biggie Burger is an amazing independent burger joint in Bellmore, New York (don't stalk me). I love it. They have big, monster burgers and sliders that make me want to protest White Castle for what I consider now to be a strong arm robbery for taking my money for their dandruff flake-sized patties I've been eating for 20 years. Seriously, if you're in town, get the Biggie sauce and see your god without drugs or death.

Local places like this need our support. They're run by small business owners who haven't just put their time and mental health into their restaurant, they invest in themselves. They invest in their ability to bring in the people from their neighborhood on a regular basis. Some spots don't always deserve to stay around, but they all deserve a shot. They could be the best restaurant you've ever been to. They could be the place you propose to your partner. They could be the place you find that guy who looks like Kurt Cobain and you tell all your friends who will still listen to your insanity that he's still alive. These places can change your life, but you have to try them first to find out.

Ditch the chains.

I can't lie. I'm not going to pretend that I haven't had some fries so salty they cut the inside of my lip, making me feel like Tom Hanks in Castaway (looking at you Golden Arches). We all hit up a chain now and then, but how often do they actually deserve our business? It's quick, yes. It's predictable, yes. How quick is it, though? In comparison to a local spot down the block, how much time are you actually saving? I have been on line at a fast food burger restaurant drive thru before and that experience has cost me half my lunch break. That kinda takes away the whole "fast" part away from the food. That leaves you with just "food," and is this the food you want? Now to discuss "predictable." Predictable doesn't always mean good. Just because something is going to come out exactly the same each time, that shouldn't be what dominates your decision making process. You're still eating a less than stellar product, and you deserve stellar food you star, you.

We need to give our local dives a chance. They give our neighborhoods a personality. Without personality, every town in the world would be Seahaven from The Truman Show and I got some bad news for you, none of us would be Jim Carey. Our local restaurants are important and they need our business. Give them a chance, dear reader. They'll make it worth your while.

Seahaven stunk and you all know it.

restaurants
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About the Creator

Phil Incontro

Stand up comic and writer.

Believe me, but don't take my word for it.

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