Breakfast for... Breakfast?

Firstly I'd like to state that this is my first story/recipe/whatever-I-want-to-call-it, so therefore if you are interested in reading more, then I'm sorry you must truly be delusional. That being said, I hope you enjoy the amalgamation of witless banter and bad decisions that is going to follow. Good luck.

-Mykelangelo

So the other Monday my wife and I were up early dealing with our child who decided to lay on his back and slam his feet against his door while simultaneously screaming at the top of his lungs until we got out of bed. After releasing the beast from his quarters and putting on a pot of coffee in the futile attempt to wake ourselves up, I realized that I had to eat something, and we had what seemed like no groceries. Thus spawned the abomination you see above, which honestly turned out amazing. So here is the recipe:

Pantry/ Freezer Quiche

Ingredients:

1/2 Onion / 2 stalks celery / 2 cloves garlic / 8 eggs / 1/4 lb bacon / 8oz cream cheese / 3tsp butter / 1 1/2 cups gold fish

Start by preheating the oven to 350. Then start grinding down the gold fish roughly and mixing with 1/2 of the butter. Press into a springform pan that you have laid down a piece of parchment paper on the bottom and par-bake the crust for 10 minutes.

Take that time to mince your onion, celery, and bacon. If you're like me, you had your bacon frozen so it should be a lot easier to chop. Saute the bacon until desired level or crispy and pull out of the pan but save the fat to saute your garlic, onion, and celery. After sauteing pull that out as well and drain the fat to save or discard.

At this point, your crust should be done so remove it and set in the fridge to cool. Start prepping the quiche filling by separating the yolks from the whites of your eggs and whipping the whites to stiff peaks. Mix the whites slowly into the yolks so as to not break the foam you have worked so hard to build.

I set my cream cheese in the freezer to make it easier to chop into cubes but that isn't necessary (chopping it is, though). Mix the cream cheese, bacon, and veggie mix together and spread it onto your crust evenly. Use the remaining butter to coat the sides of your pan before spooning in your egg mixture over the top.

Bake for 35 minutes or until your quiche is nicely golden. Then remove it from the oven and cool for 30 minutes before breaking into this lovely monstrosity you have created and feeding the child that you sat in front of the television to watch Land Before Time so that they would leave you alone while you attempted to feed them. They'll probably want Eggos anyway.