I will not beat around the bush, I will go right ahead and say it: I absolutely hate Diet Coke.
I really do and yes, it is a strange topic and admittedly I am somewhat of an odd character but the other day I was having a discussion with a friend about how much we both hate Diet Coke and ever since I just have not been able to let it go. Why? I have no idea. Yet here I am. For me It is not really a matter of whether or not it is "better for me" or "healthier" (which by the way I do not think it is, sweeteners? No thanks) but for me it is just that Diet Coke tastes like… well, nothing. Acknowledging that regular Cola is not entirely a healthy substance in itself but if you are going to put something like that into your system you want it to at least taste of something, right? Time after time I have given Diet Coke a chance but each time, without fail, I have swallowed it only to find myself still thirsty and questioning why I thought this time it would be different. I know that I say that with such conviction as if it has somehow wronged me similarly to a bad ex asking for a second chance. I know it is just a soft drink but you can imagine the amount of distress it has caused me for me to truly go out of my way to express my opinion in this way.
The very moment a drop of Diet Coke makes the journey, falling from its cold and silver tin can home and hitting my tongue there is an instant and familiar taste that is guaranteed with regular Coke. For a split second I think "Hey, maybe the world is not all wrong sometimes" but then all so abruptly that sweet taste of regular Cola, that I so long for, has gone. It is in and out of my life so quickly. Leaving me with a bland taste that I am not all too fond of. I am left unrefreshed and utterly disappointed. It is almost unfair. Though, of course, we all have our different tastes and I am not ignorant to the fact that some people actually enjoy Diet Coke but in my view it is more like Diet Joke. Get out of my mouth.
Even the Coke can, the holder of dissatisfaction, is tiresome. It is silver like an unloving robot and cold but not just in the I-have-been-in-the-fridge way more in the way that if you were upset and crying and you needed cheering up you would yield nothing from such an anticlimactic beverage. If it had eyes they would just stare at you and you would shiver uncomfortably. If it had a mouth it would never smile at you, not even on your birthday. If it could talk it would never speak clearly, just mumble.
I wish I could just shut up and drink my Robo-Cola with the rest Diet Coke loving nation but I just do not have it in me to betray my needs in that way.
Just to clarify, I do not resent or harbor hatred for those who actually like Diet Coke (it is not really a deal breaker). This is just one of my many silly opinions that are not to be taken too seriously; I do not want some die-hard Diet Coke fans trying to take me out, possibly with knifes they have fashioned from disused cans. It is all in good spirit, now go and enjoy your disgusting Cola.
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